Bartender: “You want a beer? What kind of beer?”

Patron: “…”

Bartender: “How about a delicious Hoppy Boy?”

Patron: “Is it delicious and nutritious?”

Bartender: “It is extremely nutritious.”

Patron: “…because I have to have some guarantee, here.”

(The Twisted Pine Tap Room is at Walnut Street and 32nd in Boulder. 3-8PM Mon-Fri, 12-6PM Sat and maybe Sundays during football season–call ahead. $3.75 pints, $2.75 3-5PM happy hour, $2.00 for the ladies on Wednesday. Free wi-fi. Wii on the plasma screen tv. Comfy cushioned rolley-chairs. Hoardes of large, tail-wagging dogs, some of which sit at the bar. Come on down. I recommend the espresso stout.)